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May 18, 2008
Experiment: Day Fourteen
As I waited hours for my relative to show up--she had prepped me for her trip; told me she'd be here Tuesday night and ready to have cocktails and sushi--I realized that there's something nice about kissing 40.
When I was younger and a relative would pull this shit on me: make a promise, make a plan, pledge to insert himself into my life despite the poor fit if I'd just make room and then leave me waiting like Kelly Taylor--always counting on the rich, world-traveling dad that never showed--I would curl into a ball, cry, and remember that it's all just backup for my mom's philosophy that I'm totally alone and lucky to have her and a kitty.
Now, I wouldn't spiral into a coke binge like Kelly Taylor did the umpteenth time her dad was a no-show/no-call after setting up a meeting, but I sure would bank the experience of my relative's flakiness and use it as a way to push others away. Many a relationship in my life suffered due to the track record of "loved ones" shitting on plans they made to spend time with me, usually after having me go out of my way to accommodate their schedule.
The nice thing about aging and losing attachment to most irrelevant things is that when that sort of thing happens now, I'm relieved to have the free time I wasn't counting on, excited to have the house cleaned for no good reason, and happy to know that "family" isn't defined by sharing a bloodline. Those folks are relatives. And no one says they HAVE to treat anyone right. Nor does anyone say I have to stay open to their repeated screw-overs.
Sure, plans change. And communication about changes is all I've ever needed. But most of the people I'm related to are really crappy at communicating. And I've made a career out of it. How 'bout them apples?
Day Fourteen:
I am grateful for choosing my own family.
(What is the Experiment? It is this.)
Posted by bonnie at May 18, 2008 12:55 PM
Comments
Who's Kelly Taylor? Or is that something someone who's kissing 50 wouldn't know?
Me likey this series. Positive = good...literally!
Posted by: communicatrix at May 18, 2008 2:03 PM
Heeeeeeee! I like the series too. :)
Thankee.
Yeah, Kelly Taylor was (IS??) a character on 90210 whose dad spent years making plans and promises and rarely keeping 'em. Worse, never communicating the changes, so she'd go around hopeful and would continue to get her heart broken.
Happily, I've learned to take an "I'll believe it when I see it" approach to the Gillespies. ;) 'bout damn time! ;)
Love you! XO
Posted by: bon at May 18, 2008 6:03 PM
yeah, so i spent months compiling this care package of new-baby stuff (well over $100 and including a bunch of stuff from NORWAY, plus specialty cookies from LA, etc.) for my brother and sister-in-law, sent it priority express mail...
heard from my MOM over a week ago how much they LOVED it! each individual thing gone into detail with my MOM...
they NEVER EVER even e-mailed me, called me, texted me. NADA. :(
do you want to go to kiki's play this weekend with me??
btw i majorly fell off the gratefulness train and need to get back on it!
(found out friday my position's cut as of the end of june...thankee governator for making huge cuts to education...then i was just too busy this weekend...)
Posted by: babes at May 19, 2008 10:34 AM
Aren't relatives WEIRD? *sigh* Well, I'm glad they enjoyed your new-baby stuff, even if you had to hear about it from your mom.
I do want to go to KiKi's play with you. Is this the last weekend? Is it sold out? Or are we lucking out b/c everyone is out of town for the holiday and we can get in w/ no problem? I'm sooo effin' busy, but I really do want to go see this show and of course support KiKi!! And see you! :)
Sorry 'bout your job. :( May it free you up to have something even more wonderful and exciting come your way! And get back on the train, dear. It is really wonderful to read your words and your fans miss you! XO
Posted by: bon 
at May 19, 2008 10:59 AM
Aren't relatives WEIRD? *sigh* Well, I'm glad they enjoyed your new-baby stuff, even if you had to hear about it from your mom.
I do want to go to KiKi's play with you. Is this the last weekend? Is it sold out? Or are we lucking out b/c everyone is out of town for the holiday and we can get in w/ no problem? I'm sooo effin' busy, but I really do want to go see this show and of course support KiKi!! And see you! :)
Sorry 'bout your job. :( May it free you up to have something even more wonderful and exciting come your way! And get back on the train, dear. It is really wonderful to read your words and your fans miss you! XO
Posted by: bon at May 19, 2008 11:24 AM
just texted kiki, he says tix are still available for friday and saturday (natch, i was thinking, "sunday would be great!" ;))
do either of those work for you? let me know & i'll text him for reservations, they both work right now for me...
(i'm having to write everything here since e-mail is blocked at school!)
Posted by: babes at May 19, 2008 12:02 PM
Tonight I'm having dinner with a friend who has asked us over one of the weekend nights, but I don't know which night. After dinner tonight, I'll know which of the two nights I have free and I'll let you know.
You're very clever, figuring out how to email with me without actually emailing me. :) Heeeee!
XO
Posted by: bon at May 19, 2008 12:33 PM
so, which night is it?? let me know *here*, then i can leave a comment on kiki's old blog, so he'll get it at his e-mail address, to reserve tickets (as not only is e-mail blocked, but i forgot my cell phone today!)
and thanks for your note on my blog yesterday. it really made me feel good :)
xoxo
Posted by: babes at May 20, 2008 8:39 AM
Heya Babes,
Just got an email from Anna telling me that when her hubby gets into the office, they're going to review their calendar and she's gonna shoot me another email as soon as she knows (she hadn't synced her handheld last night and needed to check w/ her man anyway, which is why no one knows yet). Sorry!
I'm gonna be out all day and night today, so only if she gets back to me within the next two hours will I have an answer for you today.
Love you!!
Posted by: bon at May 20, 2008 9:54 AM
Okay Babes, just got word that I'm on for Saturday with the VoTarqs, which means I'm free for you on Friday. Yay! :) (See if I can get an industry comp, as a casting director, as I'm poor lately--long story--but even if I can't get a comp, I'll go.)
Yay! Thanks for getting the tix. Lemmeknow where to show up and when. Can't wait! See you soon! FRIDAY! Yay! HE ASKED FOR IT! :) Yay, KiKi! :)
Posted by: Bon at May 20, 2008 11:36 AM
just texted him & requested a comp - haven't heard back yet (had my conference right after lunch so i ran home and got my phone...it was crucial for all the stuff i'm pulling out of thin air aka my ass right now.)
if i told you...! i think i've unlocked a key to my personality. i think i'm only truly happy when i'm making impossible things happen (i just wrote "when i'm making impossible things happy").
sigh! that's a tall order. harumph!
but yay! don't know if you'll have time for pre-or-post jacuzzi cocktails or not...but the guest bathrobes (in sandalwood) have arrived!
xoxo
Posted by: babes at May 20, 2008 1:40 PM