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May 9, 2008
Experiment: Day Five
Yesterday was tough. Keith drove the check over to the extortionists' home after enduring another round of debate with me about how fucking unfair the whole thing is and how there's a part of me that would love to let 'em try and sue for it, thinking about all the stuff for which we could countersue... and then there's the part of me that (as a brilliant friend suggested via email this morning) knows it's a small fee for "cutting a cancer out of our lives."
I wanted to write the check for five times the amount, just to say, "Here's how little the money means to us, you fucknuts." I also wanted to include a note that talked about how we had been looking forward to investing in a film they're dying to get produced, but since they'd rather bend us over for this bee-ess, they can choke on a check of this size instead of getting to enjoy our help in realizing their dreams. I did neither of these things, even after Keith told me "the whole story" of how things went down the other day, which included this "industry professional" with "decades of experience" talking shit about *my* business model and *my* sense of professionalism, in providing anything other than "straight casting services" to producing partners. (Yeah, dipshit. I'm gonna follow *your* business model and see if I can someday be as successful as you are after 20 years. Oh wait. I've already eclipsed your success in just five years. Tell ya what... when my friends who are showrunners, exec producers, legitimate industry pros with track records that you jack off to tell me that my decision to act as producer, punch-up writer, and full-service casting director is a bad idea, then I might take it under advisement. You've got no room to talk to me--or worse, about me to others--about what builds success, jayhole. Screw off. You live in fear. Enjoy the stew.)
*sigh*
(What was that in Day Three about trying to stay out of "egoville" on this? Bleh.)
So, because something had to be done to shake off the hoodoo of the day, I cracked open the lovely bottle of champagne a showcaser gave me (yummy!) and toasted with Keith to our successes, not being afraid to just be DONE with an issue--and people--in whose peer group we would never wish to stay for long anyway. Within an hour, we were giggling like teenagers. Our neighbor with the really strong-smelling pot sparked up and we giggled at him and his daily ritual. We watched a rerun of some old sitcom and giggled at the silly storyline and amazing work of the brilliant actors. We teased and played with the cats and laughed and laughed and laughed.
And then we bought tickets to see Iron Man for the third time, walked to the liquor store to buy hooch that would fit in my purse, and walked to the movie theater hoping I wouldn't get frisked at the door.
We sat in the movie theater and made out like teenagers. We giggled and drank and watched the movie we almost know by heart at this point and giggled and kissed some more. Then we went out for a bite and more booze at a favorite hole-in-the-wall near the theater. And then we walked home, giggling and teasing and piggy-back-riding and then falling-into-dewy-grass wrestling. And then we came home and had sex for hours. Just like teenagers.
It was awesome.
Of course, we're senior citizens, so today's been a big ball of "recovery" from all that irresponsible, silly, not-thinking-about-tomorrow behavior (which is probably worse for Keith than for me, as he's on set all day and I'm here behind a desk for most of mine), but it's totally worth it, as Keith's little emails from the set remind me.
We had a blissful night of silly, reckless, not-about-anything-important living to remind us that life is a hell of a lot bigger than our bank balance, being right, or losing "friends" that were never friends in the first place. Life is about having fun, being in the moment, and finding bliss in something as ridiculous as leaving a way-too-big tip at the dive bar because the math was just "too hard" after all that drinking and silliness. I love that my life includes infinite opportunity to make new choices and change up the vibe of the whole damn day.
Day Five:
I am grateful for spontaneity.
(What is the Experiment? It is this.)
Posted by bonnie at May 9, 2008 5:46 PM
Comments
Even though you're not going to tell them off, I just gotta say, no one (and I mean no one) can tell people where to go quite like you. I just gotta say. I just wish I could hire you to tell some people off for me. ;)
Posted by: CJC at May 10, 2008 9:45 PM
Heh! Hire me!! I need to recover some funds, quickly!!!! :)
Yeah, well, I guess my blog is my own way of getting to have my say...at least somewheres. ;)
Gotta love a good vent!!!
Posted by: bon at May 11, 2008 2:33 AM