Hey Scrappy… This is for you.

from Bread Is Dangerous.

3. In the 18th century, when virtually all bread was baked in the home, the average life expectancy was less than 50 years; infant mortality rates were unacceptably high; many women died in childbirth; and diseases such as typhoid, yellow fever, and influenza ravaged whole nations.
8. Bread is often a “gateway” food item, leading the user to “harder” items such as butter, jelly, peanut butter, and even cold cuts.

South Beach could literally save your life from the evil bread. And don’t even get me started on dihydrogen oxide.